AdaMarie Expert Ruha Tacey: Navigating Gender Bias at Work: How to Handle Everyday Challenges and Speak Up for Yourself

It’s only natural that situations arise in the workplace where “being a woman” impacts what happens. Natural…although not necessarily fair or justified. Because it’s an actual impossibility not to acknowledge what makes a person a person. 

There’s Jeremy, tallish, bald, blue-eyed, a man.

There’s Ruha, kinda short, brown hair, green eyes, a woman.

It’s what we notice about people.

And, just as we notice those things, we also let our brains make assumptions about their meaning. Books have been written about these many assumptions and how they impact the way our society operates. (One of my favorites is Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell).

For example, we might assume that Jeremy is wise due to his baldness (I kid you not), has good leadership skills because he’s tall (baffling), his blue eyes suggest he’s an honest man, and of course, being a man reinforces that he has great potential as a wise, honest leader.

Meanwhile, the general assumption about Ruha might be that she has a lot to learn because she’s short and therefore childlike, humble because of her brown hair, charismatic because of her green eyes, and generally a good helper in necessary situations because she’s a woman.

Studies, books, and philosophy take varying approaches to suggest that these are long-ingrained instinctual assumptions based on some combination of epigenetics and the way we’re raised.

It’s because of these primal biases you will probably be asked to take notes if you’re the only woman in a meeting (or if you seem to be the friendliest one there). I’m raising my hand because this has happened to me.

It’s why you’ve probably marveled at the incompetence of a man who was promoted for a position that could have been yours.

It’s why, try as you might, you haven’t quite managed to capture the guidance of the male leader who seems so generous with his mentorship of other men.

Did you know that in annual reviews, women tend to receive more negative feedback than men? [McKinsey & Lean In's "Women in the Workplace" Report (2021)] The worst part is the feedback tends to be vague and personality-based, so instead of, “We recommend you take Alan Bradley PLC training to expand your skill set,” you get nonsense like, “You should speak with more confidence. But also we need you to stop nodding in meetings like you’re in charge.” (There goes my hand again!)

As evolved human beings, we hope to minimize these unconscious biases in our daily lives, but as anybody will tell you, they still happen. 

So ok, there is a problem, and the problem is better or worse depending on your company’s culture, which is also dependent on the industry, location, leadership, etc. Only you know what situation you’re in. 

If you’re not in the workforce yet, don’t let this scare you! There are some amazing workplaces out there. But let’s talk about what to do in situations that are less than ideal.

What to do if…

Scenario: You’re in a meeting and have politely but promptly corrected your coworker, who just misstated the most recent lab result for a key metric in a discussion. Everyone looks at you.

The aftermath: Later, your boss informs you that someone complained about how aggressive you were in that meeting.

One thing you could do: In an analytical tone, say, “I wasn’t trying to be aggressive at all. If it came across that way, it might be gender bias. Studies have shown that assertiveness in women is often misinterpreted as aggression.” 

Scenario: You’re in a group setting where a man repeats a suggestion you just made.

The aftermath: The general consensus is that it’s a good idea and he’s smart for coming up with it.

One thing you could do: In a humorous tone, say, “I have an honest question, everybody. Did anyone else hear me make the same suggestion a minute ago? I’d appreciate it if in the future we make sure we’re listening to everyone before rushing to speak over them.”

Scenario: You’re just sitting down to a meeting and the leader suggests you take the notes.

One thing you could do: In a dead serious tone, say, “Maybe Mike could take them.”

Scenario: You earn less than men with equal experience, with equal responsibilities, in equal roles. 

Aftermath: You ask for more money, but so do they, and you still end up earning less.

One thing you could do: Keep asking for more money. Because the gender pay gap will never close if we don’t. (You can also advocate for salary transparency, which has been shown to help close the gap.) 

Scenario: You just left a meeting that got heated with opposing opinions, and you weren’t shy about sharing yours. 

Aftermath: Kyle pulls you aside and says, “Hey, just so you know, it looks really bad when you act so domineering in meetings.” (This is a microaggression because he didn’t do anything HR would bat an eye at, and he masked it in a cloak of “helping you out.” But it’s just the worst.)

One thing you could do: In a serious tone, say, “Kyle, just so you know, it looks really bad when you act so domineering outside of meetings.”

I feel the need to include in this article the typical advice you hear, such as:

• Actively seek out mentorship.

• Ask for work that aligns with your interests and career goals.

• Showcase your skills in areas beyond the stereotypes.

• When receiving vague, unhelpful performance feedback, ask for specific examples and actionable steps for improvement.

Have you ever tried any of these responses to gender-biased situations? Tell me in the comments how these scenarios have played out for you in the past.