Here at AdaMarie, we’re talking about toxic cultural myths around work. One of them is the idea that a job can uniquely make you happy. While a job plays one part in the overall play of your life, getting that kind of purpose-filling, soul-satisfying work - dare we say, a Calling? - is possible! But it requires a lot of work (inner and outer), and a lot of time to see it grow. Also: you may find your Calling, and it may not be in your paid-job, but something you do in another arena of your life.

One harmful myth we see many first time job seekers buying into is the idea that you are going to get that kind of purpose-fueling job on your first try. It’s actually ok to hate a job - especially a first or second one! - if it’s teaching you something. Although our instant gratification culture trains our brains to expect satisfaction immediately, life is a long game: full of ups and downs and unexpected curves. Instead of asking your job to give you instant satisfaction, try holding the big picture in your mind: “is this giving value and moving me forward to where I want to get to?”

Accepting this long-view of the journey will shift your actual experience of happiness in any given circumstance. It will also illuminate what changes you need to make, internally or externally, to get to a place where you eventually find a job that plays a healthy role in the spectrum of your life - and maybe is one you love.

Do this Exercise: Vision Statement

Write a vision statement of how you see yourself - in work, and outside - living your truth. Get into the sensory details: What are you drinking? Wearing? Who are you working with? What does your environment look like? When do you wake up, have lunch, exercise, or go to sleep? What kinds of problems are you solving or what are you creating? You can approach this exercise by words and writing it out, by talking it out into a voice memo on your phone, or by doing a visual representation of your dream scenario: e.g. on Pinterest, or collage-ing it old school style. Or all of the above!

Reality Check

It’s time for a (gentle) reality check. If you’re a first time job seeker wondering why your job isn’t fulfilling your purpose: this is your first time! Have you ever known how to do anything the first time you did it? If you play an instrument, you probably had to do a lot of practicing before you got to a place where you could play and have it sound good. Same thing with sports. Same thing with jobs… same thing with anything we are learning: it takes practice.

As a first time job seeker, you are at the very beginning of your job journey. The beginning is both a scary and overwhelming place to be, and in hindsight a really exciting place to be.

Job-hunting at any moment in life (and you’ll do it again and again) is an anxiety-producing moment. This is because it’s a destabilized moment, a moment of transition, an in-between. The ground is literally not stable under your feet. However: the antidote to anxiety is acceptance. If you can accept where you’re at in the journey, and set realistic expectations for this moment in time, it’ll all feel a lot more manageable.

📓 Journal prompts:

Think of something you excel at. What was your first time encountering it like?
Do you remember how you felt, learning to do it?
How long did it take you to feel comfortable and get to a place of mastery?
What was your process for learning?

Once you release your false expectations then you can begin the task of honestly relating to yourself. Get to know what you love, what you can tolerate, what you need to learn, and where you want to go . Getting clear on this inner work will help you see the path for getting to that job that brings you joy - and maybe even a Calling. Which will probably not be the first job, but with practice, is very, very attainable.