Audaciously Chase the “No”: Lessons from Ruha Tacey on Advocating for Yourself in STEM
Last night in the AdaMarie Career Accelerator, we were joined by AdaMarie Expert Ruha Tacey, who brought the kind of unfiltered, truth-telling energy that leaves you both fired up and ready to take action.
Her message? Advocating for women in STEM has been a challenge since the very first woman entered the field — and it’s a skill we must build to thrive.
“There’s always been a collision between how we were raised as women and what we’re expected to do in the workplace.”
Ruha knows this tension firsthand. She’s left jobs rather than tolerate disrespect — and in other cases, she’s stayed and successfully fought for better pay, better opportunities, and better treatment.
That drive to speak up, she says, is one of her superpowers.
Start with Grit, Build with Knowledge
Advocacy isn’t about being combative. It’s about setting your mindset with grit and building action steps with knowledge. That means learning how to stand out, and most importantly, being your own best advocate.
“If you ask, the worst they can say is no.”
So — ask. And when you do, ask boldly.
Know What You’re Worth
Ruha reminds us that “knowing your worth” starts with research: salary reports, market rates for your skill set, and what others in your field are earning. But the real power comes from talking to your coworkers.
“Ask for more than you’ve been offered. The people who are asking are getting — you want to be one of the ones asking.”
Own the Room
Advocacy also means being heard.
“Be the rooster: when you speak up, make sure everyone is hearing you.”
“Ask dumb questions. You don’t have to wait to use your voice until you know you have something important to say.”
Silence doesn’t help you get ahead — visibility does.
Chase the “No”
One of Ruha’s most powerful takeaways? Go after the “No.”
“If you’re not hearing ‘No,’ you’re not asking for enough, often enough.”
And when you hear the “uh-uh, never” kind of no? That’s a gift. It’s your cue to start looking for your next role.
“I am not beholden to your feelings about my feelings.”
Be Intentional About the Ask
If you want to make a big request at work, don’t just tack it on at the end of a meeting. Schedule time. Make it clear you have something important to say.
You’re not just asking for a favor — you’re engaging in a professional conversation about your value.
Bottom line:
Advocating for yourself isn’t optional — it’s a career skill.
It’s not about being liked. It’s about being respected, compensated, and recognized for what you bring to the table.
So be bold. Ask big. Chase the no. And remember — every time you speak up, you’re not just advocating for yourself… you’re making it easier for the next woman in STEM to do the same.
