Ask AdaMarie: Is it possible to stay sane in a toxic workplace (without rage-quitting Slack)?
“Hey, AdaMarie, I’m trying to practice mindfulness, but my co-worker’s Slack messages make me want to throw my laptop out the window. Is it even possible to stay sane in a toxic workplace??”
Let’s be real: sometimes the hardest part of the job isn’t the work—it’s the people.
Maybe it’s a micro-managing boss or a manager who thinks “constructive criticism” means calling you out in meetings. Maybe it’s a teammate whose entire personality is passive-aggressive calendar invites. Maybe it’s the constant tension in the air that leaves you counting the minutes until 5:00 p.m. Or the Slack messages that make you want to throw your laptop out the window. Sound familiar?
And yet, here you are. Still showing up. Still trying to stay professional. Still trying to do your job. Still pretending that team-building exercise didn’t make you want to hide under your desk..
So… how do you protect your peace when your environment feels anything but peaceful?
1. Set Digital Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
You can’t always choose who you work with, but you do have to figure out how to coexist without rage-deleting your calendar. You can set boundaries around how you work. Think of it as emotional gatekeeping.
Turn off Slack notifications after hours. Work-life balance starts with muting that never-ending ping.
Use delay-send on emails if you’re working late, so you’re not training people to expect instant replies.
Block focus time on your calendar that’s just for you. (Yes, you’re allowed.)
Decline meetings that don’t need your presence. "Thanks for the invite. Please loop me in with notes!" is a full sentence. You’re protecting your productivity.
2. Build a Sanity Bubble You Can Control
If you can’t control the people, control the atmosphere. Small comforts can make a big difference. Incorporate whatever it is that you need to create your own calm.
Create a desk setup that brings you calm—whether that’s noise-canceling headphones, a desk plant, or your favorite snacks.
Anchor to a “safe person.” You need at least one person you can make eye contact with during chaos.
Get outside. Vitamin D and fresh air work wonders for your nervous system.
These might sound small, but when your environment is draining, small things are big.
3. Stay Cool, Not Cold
In a perfect world, you’d deliver a searing, articulate monologue - equal parts righteous and elegant, and suddenly the toxic coworker sees the error of their ways, HR apologizes and you’re crowned Office Hero. Cue applause. But this isn’t a perfect world and toxic coworkers often thrive on emotional reactions.
Here’s how to stay grounded without shutting down:
Use the “gray rock” method: Be neutral, factual, and boring. Don’t feed their drama.
Document, document, document. Keep a file of problematic interactions. It’s not petty, it’s professional protection.
Have a personal reset ritual. A calming mantra, a walk, a deep breath before replying. Try:
“Pause first, speak second.”
“This is their energy, not mine.”
You don’t have to martyr yourself in the name of being a “team player.” Protecting your peace is professional. Keep your humor. The rest? Not your job.
You Can’t Choose Your Coworkers but You Can Choose Your Boundaries
If you’re stuck in a workplace that tests your patience daily, know this: it’s not about becoming immune to chaos. It’s about managing your energy, protecting your time, and staying aligned with your values until you’re in a space that actually deserves you.
And if you're looking for support, encouragement, or just someone to say, “Yep, I’ve been there,” the AdaMarie Professional Network is here.
Join the community, share your story, and let’s get through this together.
