The Skill That Changes Everything at Work (But No One Teaches You)
In Week 4 of the 2026 AdaMarie Career Accelerator, Dr. Victoria Farris invited us into a conversation that many workplaces quietly avoid: how we actually show up with other people.
Because for all the emphasis placed on technical skills in STEM, the reality is this: work is a group project that never ends. And the difference between teams that struggle and teams that thrive rarely comes down to who is smartest. It comes down to how people communicate, regulate, and lead in real time.
One of the most powerful shifts from the session was reframing emotional intelligence as a core leadership skill. It shows up in the moments we don’t always name, like navigating tension in a meeting, responding to a difficult message from a manager, or choosing how to engage when someone is more focused on being right than moving the work forward.
Victoria grounded this in something deeply practical: our biology. When stress rises, our brains shift into survival mode. The part of our brain responsible for thoughtful decision-making and collaboration quiets down, while our fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses take over. Which means that many of the reactions we judge ourselves for at work are actually automatic responses, not personal failures.
But there are pathways to showing up and caring for yourself and others with intention.
Instead of absorbing the stress in a room, you can observe it. Instead of getting pulled into every emotional dynamic, you can decide how you want to engage. One of the most memorable metaphors Victoria shared was the idea of a “bubble” — a way to stay grounded in your own energy while still being aware of what others are experiencing.
The session also named something many early-career professionals feel but don’t always say out loud: the pressure to manage not just your work, but the emotional dynamics around you. And the importance of doing that without taking on unnecessary emotional labor or losing yourself in the process.
The throughline of the conversation was simple, but not easy: The way you lead isn’t just about what you know. It’s about how you show up when things are unclear, tense, or in motion. And that is a skill you can build.
If you’ve ever left a meeting feeling drained, misunderstood, or unsure how to respond in the moment, this session will resonate. Become a member to watch the full replay and learn how to apply these tools in your own work.
About Victoria Farris
Victoria Farris’ work is a reminder that how you show up matters just as much as what you know. Through her approach to leadership, she brings attention to the skills that often go unnamed but shape every career: how you communicate, how you navigate tension, and how you stay grounded in who you are as you grow.
